The year was 2006. It wasn't a dark or stormy night, it was a warm and sunny day. I was in the south of France, on a school trip. We were lucky enough to spend the whole week abroad (my first time out of the country), though the 22 hour bus journey to get there wasn't much fun. We were nearing the end of the week when the time came for one of the main events of the trip:
A two day kayak decent down the Ardèche River.
Having never been kayaking before (I thoroughly embarrassed myself in front of my family by referring to it as "kakaying") I was a little apprehensive, but very excited. The kayaking itself went very well. We were in two-person kayaks, and while I'm convinced I was doing more work than my partner, we both had a lot of fun. The scenery along the banks, as well as the river itself, was beautiful. We saw a tree, though I can never find any pictures to prove it, that was growing from the roof of a cave beside the river. It looked like a child's drawing of a tree, but was completely upside down.
After a long day of not being dragged away by currents, capsizing or clubbing each other with paddles (much) we stopped for the night. We were to camp on the side of the river, under the stars. Each pair were given a sheet of tarpaulin to use to construct whichever shelter they desired. Most people just laid it out and slept on it, but me and my partner were more adventurous. Using two trees and some bushes as supports we constructed a roof for our makeshift shelter, and had various food stored inside. It was amazing.
It started to get dark, so everybody was told to get some sleep, as we had plenty more kayaking to do in the morning. About half an hour later, just as people started to drift off, we heard this strange rustling coming from the bushes all around us. Then, in the little light that was provided by the moon, we saw a group of wild boar come into our campsite. I'm not sure if you've ever seen a wild boar, but they're bigger than they look in photos. Especially when you're 12 and lying down in front of them.
The boars sniffed around a bit, and the guides who'd been leading us down the river softly called out to tell us they were harmless and we shouldn't panic or make any sudden movements, and they'd leave us alone soon enough. My fellow kayak-er and I were lying there, face down, trying not to move.
We heard one of the boars getting closer.
And closer.
And closer.
Until it was inside our shelter.
It could obvious smell our food. It turns out wild boar like Pringles. At this point, the other kayak-er in my tent, gets up and runs away, in tears - not a wholly unreasonable reaction. The wild boar seemed too busy eating to notice.
The boar, later christened Howie by my peers, decided that he liked Pringles so much, he would lay on the ground in front of them to eat the rest. Unfortunately, the ground around the Pringles wasn't entirely clear, due to two eager young boys building their shelter there. The wild boar sat anyway.
On me.
I spent the next few decades pinned to the ground underneath a (luckily not fully grown, but still quite) large mammal. The guide who came to my aid later informed me that it was only a few minutes, not decades, but I remain unconvinced. He managed to shoo the boar back into the bushes next to our now slightly misshapen shelter. The two of us due to sleep in the shelter were relocated away from the boar's bushes and slept the night without further issue.
In the morning, it was noted that in addition the the Pringles, wild boar also enjoy socks, sandwiches, chocolate and cameras as part of a healthy and balanced diet. We returned the the river and kayaked to our destination without seeing any more wild boar.
At the end of the trip, they gave out a series of awards to various students who'd done well at conquering fears, stepping out of their comfort zone, things like that. They had a Bravery Award. It went to one of the two of us in that shelter. One of us cried and ran away, and the other was pinned under a wild boar, unable to move. One of us won a Bravery Award, the other got a very patronising "yes, you were very brave too."
Which do you think was which?
I'll give you a clue: I don't have a Bravery Award.
